Chapter Ten: Are you ready to crawl?

As I sit here wondering where to go after I've found my Jesus Space, I ask myself how to start running. You can't run unless you learn to walk and you can't walk without crawling. And sometimes you go from running back to crawling. And as frustrating as that is, you realize later on that it was necessary to do so. Even if your knees are badly beaten and your elbows are sore and raw. As someone who waited for awhile to get married, it's easy to get distracted by all the negative things that have happened to you. Where is my partner? When will s/he get here?Am I damaged goods? 

No. You're not damaged goods. Think about it. The Lord wants you to be you in a raw state. However, there's always ways to improve on yourself. I know what the Bible says. However, I can read the same books of the Bible 5 different times on 5 different occasions and still learn something different every time. I've had to pick myself up a few times from crawling. Lots of people will believe that God just wants you to be you, no matter what. No working on your faith, no turning away from sin, just staying complacent in your life. Have you learned nothing? 

I'm going to give you an example. A baby learning to crawl takes their time in movement. And eventually, they get so fast at crawling that when they begin to learn to walk, they realize that crawling can be faster. Walking becomes a permanent state of mind but crawling is most times easier as they begin learning to walk. My point is that crawling isn't wrong. It's not bad to crawl. Sometimes that's the best way to do it. 

Are you crawling by faith? 

Hebrews 11:4-7 (NASB)

Now faith is the assurance of {things} hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

For by it the men of old gained approval.

11:3  By faith we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things which are visible.

11:4  By faith Abel offered to God a better sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained the testimony that he was righteous, God testifying about his gifts, and through faith, though he is dead, he still speaks.

11:5  By faith Enoch was taken up so that he would not see death; AND HE WAS NOT FOUND BECAUSE GOD TOOK HIM UP; for he obtained the witness that before his being taken up he was pleasing to God.

11:6  And without faith it is impossible to please {Him,} for he who comes to God must believe that He is and {that} He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.

11:7  By faith Noah, being warned {by God} about things not yet seen, in reverence prepared an ark for the salvation of his household, by which he condemned the world, and became an heir of the righteousness which is according to faith.

So why did I post that? You walk by faith, but you also crawl by faith. I know it's rough. Why do I need to crawl? I'm full grown and can walk just fine. Okay listen. I'm talking about the metaphorical crawling. As someone who has depression and anxiety, getting out of bed is what I consider crawling. And getting out of bed is a big deal. You might ask how as a Christian, can I have depression and anxiety? That's a different chapter for a different book. 

How do I know I'm crawling?

What am I needing to learn by crawling?

Am I willing to listen to God while I'm crawling?

Is this a trial or is God trying to humble me right now?