What am I doing here?
That's a good question, isn't it? What am I doing here? Well, ask yourself that. What am I doing here? Right now, you'd like to get to the last chapter and find that there's a magical prophecy or answer that I'll be giving you. If not that, you're looking for me to answer all your questions for you and to guide you down what path you're intended to go down. I'll let you know right away that I'm not here to do that. I'm here to help you answer your own questions and get you to realize that depending on God is the number one most important, absolutely positive thing you should do. Please don't stop now! You're seriously on your way. Have your Bible handy. The scriptures are here, but I highly recommend that you use a pen, pencil, highlighter--what have you-- to mark these scriptures as soon as you see them. That way later on, you'll be flipping through your Bible and come across these verses. And you'll remember what God is asking of you! And on top of that, your perspective may be different when you read different verses. A Bible that's falling apart is usually the sign of someone who isn't! I've had the same Bible for nearly 14 years and I've used tape multiple times. So I asked myself while living away from my hometown, What am I doing here? I had multiple answers. This is all HIS fault! If he had not mistreated me... Yeah, right. The whole "I'm not here because God brought me here but because of that jerk" thing. I was blaming someone else for being away from my home, my family, my friends, the only place I'd ever known most of my life! And I had to make a choice. When Travis asked me why I was in a small town and not in my hometown, I started to blame the relationship of damage. Travis said, "No, what are you DOING here? How are you getting better? How do you feel about what God has done?" I was totally offended! I felt I had every right to be offended also. He knew my history and how I'd become a part of a life that I didn't want in the first place. Or so I thought. I'd been thinking about the pain, the anger and the resentment that I hadn't thought about the real reason as to why I was at the place I was staying at emotionally. What am I doing here? Why am I feeling this way? What did I do wrong? Who was involved? Why were they involved? Who did it effect? How do I get from this place to a better place? All these questions kept popping up and I had no idea why. Actually, yes I did. God put Travis in my life to help me see where I'm supposed to go and how He'll help me deal with the pain, the anger and the resentment. Keep in mind, I'd been going to church. But I was still mad at the Lord. I blamed God for putting me in a place that was new and strange and just down right cold. West Texas gets cold during the winter. Jesus was waiting on me. Everyday that I was going to work, going to church, and just basically living life day in and day out, Jesus was waiting on me. More than that, Christ was waiting for me. He knew I'd come back. He always knows that I'll come back.
Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
This is what Jesus was waiting on me to understand. He knows my heart and how much pain stood there. He is patient enough to know that even I will come back. A lot of people in my life didn't understand why I couldn't just move past my anger, resentment, pain, and bitterness. It's not as easy as they thought. If you've ever been hurt so bad by someone you love, you know exactly what I'm talking about! It's like trying to quit smoking. You can't just put the pack of cigarettes down. It takes time. Ask yourself again. What am I doing here? Why are you emotionally at the place you are now? Has someone made you feel this way? Did you ever imagine that you could feel this way? Do you ever imagine healing yourself or moving past this emotional roller coaster?
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.
It took me awhile to actually accept this again. I did love God, but I wasn't ready to believe that good things were happening to me. And that good things were to come. Again, anger is a vicious beast. It had reared it's ugly head and lived in so many of my actions. I had friends and I was attending church. I was still behaving like I was giving God the cold shoulder. Little did I realize that Christ was still around, waiting for me to wake up and get the message that He was ready to comfort me. Emotionally, I'm still a little fragile. Trusting someone becomes hard sometimes. Opening myself up to someone becomes hard.
Why am I single?
Like every girl, I've dreamed of this wedding since I was probably about six or seven years old. If not earlier than that. There are men and women out there everywhere who choose not to get married. And that's okay. I've met a handful of people at church who are over forty years old and not married and have never had children. They are happy that way! I'm over thirty years old and I'm happily single! That's right! I said it! Happily single. Both of my younger sisters are married and I even have a niece that I love dearly! I'm not in a rush to get married. Why? I find my happiness in one Man. If I'm not happy in Christ as a single Christian, how am I supposed to find happiness in a marriage to an earthly man?
Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (KJV)
That's the perfect verse to describe how I feel as a single Christian! I'm at peace with God through Christ Jesus. And yes, I'd like to get married, but God knows what other work He's doing within me before I get married. I read a two books as I spent time healing from my relationship of damage. The first book is titled Lady in Waiting: Becoming God's Best While Waiting for Mr. Right by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones. I learned how to restructure my thinking about being me with Christ while being a single lady. I even learned that I'm more than just a pretty face, a great sense of humor and a woman. I'm His child! I should act as His child and show that action! I learned patience.
James 5:7
Be patient therefore, brothers, to the coming of the Lord. Behold, the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, and has long patience for it, until he receive the early and latter rain. (AKJV)
Being patient isn't about waiting around for the right person. It's about waiting on God. Despite popular belief, He does know who is right for you and who is wrong for you. If you are farming for a mate in the wrong field, you'll keep finding Bozo's or Jezebel's. Let God work on you. The second book I've read is titled A Man Worth Waiting For by Jackie Kendall. This book talks about how any young woman should look for a Boaz, not a Bozo. I've dated here and there, but there were none that I was willing for to sacrifice my integrity. I want to stay close to Christ in every way. You may be wondering why I keep calling a man Boaz. In Jackie Kendall's books, Ruth is the main character. Her husband died, her father-in-law died, her brother-in-law died. All that was left was Orpah, Ruth and Naomi. Naomi told Ruth and Orpah to go home and find other husbands. Orpah left but Ruth stayed with Naomi. When Naomi encouraged Ruth to go back home and live out her life, Ruth stayed loyal to her mother-in-law. I wish everyone had this attitude about their family. Even if they are the in-laws. When Ruth is found by Boaz, he asks who she is. He was a good Christian man and leader. He was a relative of Naomi and Naomi knew that he would take care of Ruth.
Ruth 1:16
And Ruth said, Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following after you: for where you go, I will go; and where you lodge, I will lodge: your people shall be my people, and your God my God. (AKJV)
Being a single Christian is a choice. I've made the choice because I know that I'd rather be happy with Christ as a single Christian than to be married to someone who won't help me get to heaven. I heard something from a play that made me think. I'd rather be alone in the corner with a puppy and a goldfish before I have someone make my life miserable. The choice that I've made to be happy in Christ as a single Christian is one that I know will help me in the long run.
What am I doing here?
Why am I single?
Am I praying for myself or am I praying for others as well?
What's my attitude towards being a single Christian?
If it's not the correct attitude, how do I correct it?
How does my attitude reflect Christ as a single Christian?
Am I ready to accept that Christ is my Ultimate Counselor, Ultimate Friend, and Master?
I know that there's a lot to take in right now. If you feel that way, take a break and pray. Have a conversation with God. I hope that in this process you're have a constant conversation with the Lord. He's the Ultimate Friend! Even if He's silent, He's still there. At this point in my life, I'm trying to seek God in everything I see, touch, hear, and feel in my heart. Some days are rougher than others. It's hard to see the beauty of God everyday. I'll admit that wholeheartedly! My hope and prayer is that you walk away with a better understanding that there's so much more than just what's in front of you.
That's a good question, isn't it? What am I doing here? Well, ask yourself that. What am I doing here? Right now, you'd like to get to the last chapter and find that there's a magical prophecy or answer that I'll be giving you. If not that, you're looking for me to answer all your questions for you and to guide you down what path you're intended to go down. I'll let you know right away that I'm not here to do that. I'm here to help you answer your own questions and get you to realize that depending on God is the number one most important, absolutely positive thing you should do. Please don't stop now! You're seriously on your way. Have your Bible handy. The scriptures are here, but I highly recommend that you use a pen, pencil, highlighter--what have you-- to mark these scriptures as soon as you see them. That way later on, you'll be flipping through your Bible and come across these verses. And you'll remember what God is asking of you! And on top of that, your perspective may be different when you read different verses. A Bible that's falling apart is usually the sign of someone who isn't! I've had the same Bible for nearly 14 years and I've used tape multiple times. So I asked myself while living away from my hometown, What am I doing here? I had multiple answers. This is all HIS fault! If he had not mistreated me... Yeah, right. The whole "I'm not here because God brought me here but because of that jerk" thing. I was blaming someone else for being away from my home, my family, my friends, the only place I'd ever known most of my life! And I had to make a choice. When Travis asked me why I was in a small town and not in my hometown, I started to blame the relationship of damage. Travis said, "No, what are you DOING here? How are you getting better? How do you feel about what God has done?" I was totally offended! I felt I had every right to be offended also. He knew my history and how I'd become a part of a life that I didn't want in the first place. Or so I thought. I'd been thinking about the pain, the anger and the resentment that I hadn't thought about the real reason as to why I was at the place I was staying at emotionally. What am I doing here? Why am I feeling this way? What did I do wrong? Who was involved? Why were they involved? Who did it effect? How do I get from this place to a better place? All these questions kept popping up and I had no idea why. Actually, yes I did. God put Travis in my life to help me see where I'm supposed to go and how He'll help me deal with the pain, the anger and the resentment. Keep in mind, I'd been going to church. But I was still mad at the Lord. I blamed God for putting me in a place that was new and strange and just down right cold. West Texas gets cold during the winter. Jesus was waiting on me. Everyday that I was going to work, going to church, and just basically living life day in and day out, Jesus was waiting on me. More than that, Christ was waiting for me. He knew I'd come back. He always knows that I'll come back.
Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
This is what Jesus was waiting on me to understand. He knows my heart and how much pain stood there. He is patient enough to know that even I will come back. A lot of people in my life didn't understand why I couldn't just move past my anger, resentment, pain, and bitterness. It's not as easy as they thought. If you've ever been hurt so bad by someone you love, you know exactly what I'm talking about! It's like trying to quit smoking. You can't just put the pack of cigarettes down. It takes time. Ask yourself again. What am I doing here? Why are you emotionally at the place you are now? Has someone made you feel this way? Did you ever imagine that you could feel this way? Do you ever imagine healing yourself or moving past this emotional roller coaster?
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.
It took me awhile to actually accept this again. I did love God, but I wasn't ready to believe that good things were happening to me. And that good things were to come. Again, anger is a vicious beast. It had reared it's ugly head and lived in so many of my actions. I had friends and I was attending church. I was still behaving like I was giving God the cold shoulder. Little did I realize that Christ was still around, waiting for me to wake up and get the message that He was ready to comfort me. Emotionally, I'm still a little fragile. Trusting someone becomes hard sometimes. Opening myself up to someone becomes hard.
Why am I single?
Like every girl, I've dreamed of this wedding since I was probably about six or seven years old. If not earlier than that. There are men and women out there everywhere who choose not to get married. And that's okay. I've met a handful of people at church who are over forty years old and not married and have never had children. They are happy that way! I'm over thirty years old and I'm happily single! That's right! I said it! Happily single. Both of my younger sisters are married and I even have a niece that I love dearly! I'm not in a rush to get married. Why? I find my happiness in one Man. If I'm not happy in Christ as a single Christian, how am I supposed to find happiness in a marriage to an earthly man?
Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (KJV)
That's the perfect verse to describe how I feel as a single Christian! I'm at peace with God through Christ Jesus. And yes, I'd like to get married, but God knows what other work He's doing within me before I get married. I read a two books as I spent time healing from my relationship of damage. The first book is titled Lady in Waiting: Becoming God's Best While Waiting for Mr. Right by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones. I learned how to restructure my thinking about being me with Christ while being a single lady. I even learned that I'm more than just a pretty face, a great sense of humor and a woman. I'm His child! I should act as His child and show that action! I learned patience.
James 5:7
Be patient therefore, brothers, to the coming of the Lord. Behold, the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, and has long patience for it, until he receive the early and latter rain. (AKJV)
Being patient isn't about waiting around for the right person. It's about waiting on God. Despite popular belief, He does know who is right for you and who is wrong for you. If you are farming for a mate in the wrong field, you'll keep finding Bozo's or Jezebel's. Let God work on you. The second book I've read is titled A Man Worth Waiting For by Jackie Kendall. This book talks about how any young woman should look for a Boaz, not a Bozo. I've dated here and there, but there were none that I was willing for to sacrifice my integrity. I want to stay close to Christ in every way. You may be wondering why I keep calling a man Boaz. In Jackie Kendall's books, Ruth is the main character. Her husband died, her father-in-law died, her brother-in-law died. All that was left was Orpah, Ruth and Naomi. Naomi told Ruth and Orpah to go home and find other husbands. Orpah left but Ruth stayed with Naomi. When Naomi encouraged Ruth to go back home and live out her life, Ruth stayed loyal to her mother-in-law. I wish everyone had this attitude about their family. Even if they are the in-laws. When Ruth is found by Boaz, he asks who she is. He was a good Christian man and leader. He was a relative of Naomi and Naomi knew that he would take care of Ruth.
Ruth 1:16
And Ruth said, Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following after you: for where you go, I will go; and where you lodge, I will lodge: your people shall be my people, and your God my God. (AKJV)
Being a single Christian is a choice. I've made the choice because I know that I'd rather be happy with Christ as a single Christian than to be married to someone who won't help me get to heaven. I heard something from a play that made me think. I'd rather be alone in the corner with a puppy and a goldfish before I have someone make my life miserable. The choice that I've made to be happy in Christ as a single Christian is one that I know will help me in the long run.
What am I doing here?
Why am I single?
Am I praying for myself or am I praying for others as well?
What's my attitude towards being a single Christian?
If it's not the correct attitude, how do I correct it?
How does my attitude reflect Christ as a single Christian?
Am I ready to accept that Christ is my Ultimate Counselor, Ultimate Friend, and Master?
I know that there's a lot to take in right now. If you feel that way, take a break and pray. Have a conversation with God. I hope that in this process you're have a constant conversation with the Lord. He's the Ultimate Friend! Even if He's silent, He's still there. At this point in my life, I'm trying to seek God in everything I see, touch, hear, and feel in my heart. Some days are rougher than others. It's hard to see the beauty of God everyday. I'll admit that wholeheartedly! My hope and prayer is that you walk away with a better understanding that there's so much more than just what's in front of you.
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